It’s been quite some time, to say the least. I’ve taken a break from this whole blog and my Instagram, because bluntly I’ve been unsure of who I am for the past year. I’ve been re-evaluating myself and everything that I’ve been doing lately. 2019 for me has literally came out nowhere – and really forced myself to get in check with reality. Life hasn’t been easy – and sometimes it’s difficult to put that into tangible words. But lately I’ve found myself to sit in constant reflection, rather than action. And I know that’s complacency we’ve all fallen into before.
It’s easy to fall, to let your negative thoughts overcome you. To fall along with all the things in your life bringing you down. To look only where you want to be, never what’s in front of you. To wonder about failed relationships and friendships — to wonder where you went wrong. To only keep focus on the unknown. To sit, to wish, to remain.
But I challenge you to take a step back, and look. Really look.
These past few months, despite all my blessings – I’ve been feeling downright disgusting and unconfident in myself. Constantly comparing myself to others and questioning my worth as a person. Letting the people in my life dictate my worth, my confidence, my choices.
But I took a step back, to look. To really look.
5 months ago, I graduated college. And you can bet I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. But I knew what I wanted – just didn’t think I would get there. Funny thing is… I’m here. I’m exactly where I wanted to be. Yet I still found myself finding purpose in people, in things, in events – that don’t suffice. It comes to show that your mind cannot be curated with positivity until you let it. It’s your thoughts, it’s your perspective. Change is inevitable. But if you’re not growing positively in your outlook on life – what constructive change can you expect?
I started Cultivating Confidence not in hopes to impress or to prove who I am to anyone. But as a reminder to myself and to those who struggle with self-worth – who you are, and what you stand for is significant. And that’s something I’ve lost within the past years. If you’re constantly venturing for worth or for purpose in other people, stop. It’s a never-ending journey.
People will always have something negative to say about your choices. People will always have something negative to say about the way you hold yourself. They will still talk underneath their breath, so let them. If you’re living true to yourself, to what you stand for – that’s your power.
So I challenge you, if you aren’t where you want to be – remember you can get there. But when you get there, remember to cultivate your heart with positivity. Never compromise who you are, just to please others.
(yes… we’re back)