To the 20 somethings, the post grads, and the down-right “wtf am I doing”(s)

It’s been quite some time, to say the least. I’ve taken a break from this whole blog and my Instagram, because bluntly I’ve been unsure of who I am for the past year. I’ve been re-evaluating myself and everything that I’ve been doing lately. 2019 for me has literally came out nowhere – and really forced myself to get in check with reality. Life hasn’t been easy – and sometimes it’s difficult to put that into tangible words. But lately I’ve found myself to sit in constant reflection, rather than action. And I know that’s complacency we’ve all fallen into before.

It’s easy to fall, to let your negative thoughts overcome you. To fall along with all the things in your life bringing you down. To look only where you want to be, never what’s in front of you. To wonder about failed relationships and friendships — to wonder where you went wrong. To only keep focus on the unknown. To sit, to wish, to remain.

But I challenge you to take a step back, and look. Really look.

These past few months, despite all my blessings – I’ve been feeling downright disgusting and unconfident in myself. Constantly comparing myself to others and questioning my worth as a person. Letting the people in my life dictate my worth, my confidence, my choices.

But I took a step back, to look. To really look.

5 months ago, I graduated college. And you can bet I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. But I knew what I wanted – just didn’t think I would get there. Funny thing is… I’m here. I’m exactly where I wanted to be. Yet I still found myself finding purpose in people, in things, in events – that don’t suffice. It comes to show that your mind cannot be curated with positivity until you let it. It’s your thoughts, it’s your perspective. Change is inevitable. But if you’re not growing positively in your outlook on life – what constructive change can you expect?

I started Cultivating Confidence not in hopes to impress or to prove who I am to anyone. But as a reminder to myself and to those who struggle with self-worth – who you are, and what you stand for is significant.  And that’s something I’ve lost within the past years. If you’re constantly venturing for worth or for purpose in other people, stop. It’s a never-ending journey.

People will always have something negative to say about your choices. People will always have something negative to say about the way you hold yourself. They will still talk underneath their breath, so let them. If you’re living true to yourself, to what you stand for – that’s your power.

So I challenge you, if you aren’t where you want to be – remember you can get there. But when you get there, remember to cultivate your heart with positivity. Never compromise who you are, just to please others.

Cultivate Confidence.

(yes… we’re back)

 

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Back and Better

Back and Better 

I’ve spent this past year avoiding posting on my blog, because I was genuinely unhappy with the content I was putting out. I’ve taken steps back to re-evaluate where I want to go as a blogger, and how I can present myself in a way that is true to myself and who I represent.  This past year has been an immense year of growth, learning new things, and connecting with new people. I’ve learnt things about myself that I’ve never known, and finally understanding the true meaning of staying persistent and working hard to achieve the things you’ve always wanted. After much editing and deliberation, riaxla.com is finally relaunched and ready! I am super excited, to get back into officially blogging and speaking my voice.

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This past year has been filled with blessings that I will forever be grateful for: becoming one of 50 Charlotte Russe It Girl’s, reaching 10K followers on Instagram, teaming up with small businesses and big brands, and meeting inspiring individuals along the way. I am reminded every day of the blessings and opportunities that Cultivating Confidence has brought me. Living confidently and having the self-efficacy you can achieve the things you want, surely isn’t easy. But work hard, be persistent, and most importantly stay true to who you are. Never compromise who you are to please others. Work for yourself, and do things for yourself simply because it’s important to you. If it’s important enough, hard work will come easy.

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This past year has pushed me to grow more than I anticipated. And amidst all the blessings, was a world full of heartache. I just recently finished my junior year of college, and let me just say was it an emotional roller coaster. I’ve lost close friends, who showed me their true colors when things turned difficult. Broke up, got together, broke up again with important people in my life. Put my faith and trust into people who promised they’d always be present. I’ve made mistakes that I deeply regret, I’ve lost myself in different ways because of my own pain. There are many days where I fake a smile and pretend to be strong for those around me – but bottom line is I was struggling, and sometimes still am.
34826285821_199c039ce1_oHighs and lows, and lows again. Sometimes it’s hard to get up. There are moments where I sit back and question my ability to carry on. I think a lot of the time we sit around trying to find a savior. Wishing for someone to pick us out of our pain, someone to save us from ourselves. Something I’ve learnt, and still trying to come to terms with – the only person who can pick you up is yourself. People who promise to be there, eventually won’t be there anymore. And that’s not to say is their fault – it’s life. Sometimes people get caught up in their own reality. If you constantly focus on someone else for your happiness.. if you need someone to save you, how are you going to save yourself? Respect yourself enough to know who you need. You are strong, you made it this far. You will continue to persist.

Focus on your dreams, bounce back, and be better. That’s the goal. Make it your own.

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Entire Outfit from Charlotte Russe 

Shop the look:

Crop Top   (similar look –  exact crop top available in stores)

Pants 

Photography by Kelvin Cheng